:chuckle in the yellow light:

i got her to do a good laugh, even through her hiccups. it was awesome.

:shopping women:

chloe and i decided to take a shopping day. since i got a clogged milk duct, i didn't want to do anything too taxing...and it is holiday season. we went to american apparel and shopped for us. i got some cute stuff to fit my ever changing body and chloe got an adorable pink hoodie.



we visited jared at work and just strolled around hillcrest. it was nice.

chloe seems to be getting back to sleeping through the night. she slept until about 6:15 last night, and about 5:30 the night before. the kid is great. she seems to actually WANT to go in her crib when she gets sleepy. she does her little whine, i wrap her up and put her down. she just looks up at me from the crib and gives me a smile, like she's saying, 'thanks, mom.' she's our chicken.

our one year anniversary is sunday. how crazy. but how lovely to be able to share it with our chloe :)

:gracias para todo:

it's been a long weekend. learning how to juggle the holidays, new/more family and a child are challenging. we had a good time seeing family, sharing chloe and now, getting some time with just the three of us, with nothing to do on a sunday...a very rare thing indeed.

we dedicated chloe at church. it was very special because all of our family (except tia melody and tio freddie, whom we greatly missed!) came to share the time with us. we were very touched and are so, so blessed. thank you to everyone.



i think all the commotion has thrown chloe a bit off. she hasn't been sleeping through the night. she hasn't been horrible, but it's been harder on me, especially coupled with holiday stress. i could really use some extra sleep. she doesn't cry, which is a blessing.



saturday she slept all night. awesome. the two nights before that, she woke up around 3 to eat. what we've learned is that if she eats between 7 and 8, she'll only sleep until 3 or 4. if we give her the last feeding after 9 pm, she's more likely to make it until at least 5am. the bad part about feeding later is that she likes to have play time afterwards. it's hard to get her to peacefully, and easily go to sleep (which she normally does) unless she's tired herself out. so, i end up staying up past 10 until i put her to bed. that darn late feeding. hoping to eliminate that soon.



her hair is returning, and she's looking more "adult". her eyes are becoming rich and chocolaty, like mom's. she still has the little bed bald spot which i'm not really sure how to remedy. if she can only sleep on her back, then i suppose it's harmless.

looking forward to a day of rain so chloe can observe the drops.

:foreshadow:

here's a little taste of our family card...

for parents, or really anyone questioning the use of certain pharmeceuticals, please go
here. this is a must read for parents of young children. like jared always so wisely states, "the problem is not the problem."

:the greatest:

i think the best thing ever is going to pick my daughter up out of her crib after a 9 hour sleep, and seeing her give me a huge smile at the sight of me.

i am thankful for that.

:update:

i am very happy to report that chloe's face is much much better today. can't be sure whether it is the lack of dairy, the calendula cream, or both, but it has gradually lightened throughout the day.

i feel like a real mom when i can help to fix things having to do with my child.

:in need of some help:

SO, IT LOOKS like miss chloe has a mild case of excema. what it's caused by is yet to be determined. i'm thinking she may have a milk allergy because i drank some organic whole milk this morning, and then her cheeks seemed to get much worse. as i have watched her cheeks, particularly the right one, flare up, i have become more concerned. at times it seems like she's trying to rub them like they're itching.

i did some research on natural remedies and came up with calendula cream. i've tried olive oil and the baby lotions (which have way too many bizaree ingredients and fragrances to be good for her) with no help. so, off we went to whole foods where i found a calendula cream specially made for sensitive skin and babies. the cool part is that i can use it too, since i also seem to get rashy these days. i've been applying it since this afternoon and staying away from dairy. oh how i longed for some of that brie in the fridge. i bathed her and then lathered her up in the cream. she took a nap and it *seemed* to be better, at least upon glancing at her face. maybe it's that placebo affect.

regardless, i'm on the prowl for NATURAL remedies for skin rashes. i'm not positive this is excema, but it looks like pictures i've see and has the texture of it. i've emailed the nurse practioner with the hope of some help, but i will not use any steroidal based products or antibiotics at this point. she's not bleeding or crying abnormally.

please help...i'll try and get some photos up so that maybe ya'll can see what i'm talking about to help us identify the probelm.

ciao ciao

:she's dorothy:

big sleeper. that's what she is. i really think this is it, folks. she's turned the corner. i couldn't be more excited about being able to sleep for hours straight...except that my breasts wake me up now.

she's oh so cute, but has this red rashiness on her cheeks and belly. the nurse said she was a bit dry. i've been washing her in plain water, no soap, and putting olive oil on her cheeks. it helps for a bit, then she gets red again. i think part of it is her new found love for her hands. since her birth she has had an insatiable sucking instinct. she will suck on anything BUT the pacifier. i turn for a second, and she has her whole fist going in. sometimes she pisses herself off by sticking a couple fingers in and getting a poke that she doesn't understand. it's difficult to handle because you can't really discipline or explain to her why it's not good. part of me just wants to let her suck, but i also don't want her to become a thumb sucker, which she has done a couple times. anyway, when she does that, she gets drool all over her face, causing it to dry and rash. viscious cycle.

tonight the schauermann family went to dinner at mimi's cafe and chloe dawned her little red shoes, which remind me of the wizard of oz. check these duds out...

:the tranquil:

don't forget to check out kelly's blog at www.ableknife.com.

that's all...chloe still lives on, peacefully...in her bed :)

:happy leafy days:

forgot to report yesterday that chloe is now 13 lbs, 8 oz., and 23 inches long! the nurse practioner said she was perfect and praised me highly for sticking with breast feeding and using olive oil on her. she said that chloe was lucky to have such great parents. that made me very happy.

and...8 hours between feedings again. hallelujah.

:shot & run:

so, she had the shots. i didn't have a good feeling going into it, but it's a catch 22. in the end, i think the shots were the better option.

when you hear parents talk about how awful it is so see your child in pain, it never resonates until you ACTUALLY see her/him in pain. although brief, those 30 seconds of chloe screaming and writhing in pain were not fun.

on the way home, i thought of two things.
one, was the realization that, as a parent, we will have to see her in pain for her whole life. maybe it won't be in the form of a shot or the flu, but someday she will get her heart broken, or someone will tease her, or worst of all, we will say something mean to her that hurts her spirit. and most likely, all of those things will happen somewhere down the line. it's heartbreaking for us as parents. this is only the beginning of her tears. the world is a horrible place. thank God Jesus loves us.

the second thought i had was about myself. i have never so wholeheartedly had a person's best interest in mind. i feel that we always have alterior motives in the things we do. i know for myself, that it's often a subconscious. i've been in denial about how selfish i am until i had chloe. i've never felt such devotion, love and selflessness for another human being. i wish that i could say that was untrue, that i felt that much towards my family or my husband. sadly, i am human and fallible. but i am being refined.

so, there's today's daily confession.

on better notes, i also had my blood taken today to start the process of donating breast milk to children in africa. i'm very excited about this. i see this as a great way to utilize a gift i've been given...a healthy child that drinks milk.

with that, here's my swinging chloe, while she was not screaming in pain...

:the turning:

it's raining outside, and my home is quiet. the babe and the dad are peacefully sleeping, while i write, read and relax following my tooth pulling.

i can't be completely sure, but i believe chloe is graduating into the world of night sleeping. and oh thank God for that. i wonder what it is that suddenly thrust her into this pattern. one day she's up every 3 hours, the next she's down for 8. 8 weeks old, sleeping nearly 8 hours. we are so proud :)

last night i experienced somegthing very bizarre. due to the tooth thing, i had to pump so that jared could feed her in the night...doctor's orders not to move too much. when she finally woke up around 3am, jared started heating her bottle and i got up to pump. not having fed her for 7 hours was a bit uncomfortable. we all sat on the couch doing our duties, and i began to feel somewhat jealous. i couldn't feed her. i am so used to being the one that is giving her what she needs, bonding with her, even in the wee hours of the morning. i almost just stopped pumping and took her because it just felt weird to not hold her. i thought about mothers who have to go back to work and are unable to watch their children grow and change. i grieve for them, but am so thankful that jared and i have committed to raising chloe with great care and hopefully, stability.

as jared fed her, i think he began to understand why bottles are not the optimal form of feeding. she gets all gassy, which she almost never does when she's breast fed. she was spitting up, and making weird sounds, and doing the little "eh-eh" gas cry. i guess she had a monster burp. breast is best.

and after all that, she starts squealing. time to attend to the precious babe.

ciao.

:a big BIG girl:

we are thrilled to report chloe's first 8 hour stretch between feedings. i actually woke up on my own at 3 am and realized that i had not fed her yet. so, i pumped and went back to sleep until 5am, when she finally woke up to eat. amazing!

she started to giggle at me this morning. she smiles a ton in the mornings after she eats. she's particularly in love with mr. fan. she enjoys laying on our bed and staring up at him. i guess it is kind of a cool shape.

so, jared came home with a prop for a Christmas card. needless to say, it's for a dog, but it'll work. i couldn't wait to give a preview, so check this out:



how could anything be cuter?

:autumn baby:

it's been a long and challenging day. chloe is great. she's been great.




she was a little squirrel today, thanks to seth and courtney. the kid is a bean. she is so long, i'm struggling to find clothing to fit her. she's 2 months old and just squeezing into the last of the 3 month old clothing.

today, we took her to the beach for a baptism in la jolla shores. it was her first time out on the real, sandy beach. well, actually, she was four wheeling it in the jogging stroller, but close enough. it was a stellar day, a bit breezy following last night's rain. probably a perfect time for a baptism.

we've been slowly weaning her off, or out of the swaddle. partially because she's outgrown the one's we have, and partially because i'm afraid she is going to roll over in it and suffocate. she's getting so strong, she can nearly flip herself over, even in her little baby straight jacket.

i just went into check on her during her nap, and she had somehow inched herself from the middle of the crib to the top. incredible.



tomorrow mommy has to get her tooth pulled. i'm a little concerned because i've never really had tooth work done, and i'm not sure how i'm going to feed her following.
she gets her shots this week. i'm not looking forward to that day. jared won't be able to come with me, and i don't want to have to hear her crying alone. i really hope it's the right thing.

:finding a home:

today was a good day. the three of us went house hunting for a 2 bedroom place. we are happy to have found a cute little 1924 house in hillcrest with everything we want. the guy said he'd give us priority, so let's hope that he was serious. if so, we could be in there by the end of the year...maybe even by Christmas!

so, you know you're a mom when you're walking into the grocery store in sweats and tennis shoes, and you look down to see baby puke on your shirt. yeah. that was me today. i kinda smiled about it.

while chloe and i were waiting out the fumigation fiasco last night, aunt emily was kind enough to allow us to hang out. she also enjoyed chloe's company...congrats to her brother nathan and his wife on their pregnancy! yeah. cousins for chloe!




we're adjusting to the whole kid thing. somedays it's more difficult than others. being married and having a kid is certainly a challenge that i think people underestimate. i can see how moms and dads just get overwhelmed. we are working to set up a way to have date nights or set aside for ourselves. chloe is, of course, a priority. but we want her to have a happy mom and dad, too. we are looking forward to our anniversary to the del coronado. can't wait!

:fumigate:

well, we're back from our trip to the chiu's during our fumigation. thank God for their graciousness in letting us stay with them!
check out some photos of chloe showing off her bell bottomed ways...





she also discovered the mirror...



although i was glad to be home following the fumigation, i was not so thrilled when i started getting a headache and burning eyes upon returning. after calling poison control, i promptly left with chloe in tow, not to return until later this evening. they told us to leave for a few hours and come back later. here i am...i've only been home for about half an hour and haven't decided if it's safe yet. no headaches and no serious eye issues. we shall see.

chloe is my little partner in crime.

the adventures of kelly & chloe.

:lots o pink:

this morning was a glorious one in southern cal. crisp fall air, sunshine floating through the trees and 15,000 people in balboa park for the Race for the Cure. jared, chloe and i packed up the BOB stroller and jogged the 5k in about 49 minutes! we were proud to run in honor of our loved ones that are survivors of breast cancer. and for me, it was a great personal victory since giving birth 7 weeks ago.

we're exhausted...so here's some photos.

:hoover:

it's been a couple days since we have posted, but it's about time i unload some photos i've been collecting.

this morning she spent some time on the tummy, on the boppy. she was quite content sitting in the open air of the sliding door, staring at the trees and bikes and...the balcony i suppose. big big eyes. oh...the scratch, that was her fault. as i was changing her diaper at 5am, she suddenly let out a deathly screech. i didn't notice until later that the screech was the result of her gashing her head. she got over it quite quickly.




the leaves outside are so beautiful. being that we are in SD, there isn't a lot of foliage change. but, just outside our door is this giant tree, changing colors and losing its leaves on the deck. i love the way nature looks with chloe. it's two of God's creations in a peaceful companionship.




chloe is so enjoyable. we had megan (jared's sister) and her husband ryan over this afternoon, and she was the perfect picture of goodness. i'm not used to having people over, so it's nice to get a little break from toting her around. but, i also noticed that i missed her after awhile. it's a bittersweet thing. i'm just so used to being around her. she would stare at me across the room, almost like she was wondering why i wasn't the one holding her.





we are so proud of our daughter. she's basically the most perfect thing in the world. we simply love her.

:7 weeks:

there really isn't much to say.
chloe is 7 weeks old and growing daily.
she can stand while we hold her under the arms. it's amazing. she can hold her own weight for pretty long periods of time.
her little legs are still slightly bowed, but it is adorable. you can see the little calf muscles working hard.

we rearranged the living room and bedroom and i don't understand why we didn't do it before a year in this place was up.
it feels much more peaceful for us all.

we sure love chloe. that's all.

:immune to immunizations?:

anyone have any good facts about immunizations? chloe has her appointment for shots on the 15th, and i have been wondering if it's a good idea or not.
if you have any info at all, please let me know :)

honorary aunt cori came to town from new jersey. cori is kelly's friend from way back in the days of walking to the busstop freshman year. it's crazy to think how much has changed in 12 years.

we did a lot of nothing. we did make it to the bay for a jog, a target run and then cori made some delicious baked mac n cheese. it's evil.

this morning, my new favorite hang out, the mission.





and mommy looked at chairs.



daddy decided to dress up, but didn't get the costume until the day before halloween. i tried to get him this muscle shirt that said it fit men up tp 200 lbs. when i got it home, it was clearly a child's size that someone put into the package. jared is 6', and the thing only covered half his stomach. i guess it only made the pirate outfit that much better.