chloe: the bigness of big


:the turning:

it's raining outside, and my home is quiet. the babe and the dad are peacefully sleeping, while i write, read and relax following my tooth pulling.

i can't be completely sure, but i believe chloe is graduating into the world of night sleeping. and oh thank God for that. i wonder what it is that suddenly thrust her into this pattern. one day she's up every 3 hours, the next she's down for 8. 8 weeks old, sleeping nearly 8 hours. we are so proud :)

last night i experienced somegthing very bizarre. due to the tooth thing, i had to pump so that jared could feed her in the's orders not to move too much. when she finally woke up around 3am, jared started heating her bottle and i got up to pump. not having fed her for 7 hours was a bit uncomfortable. we all sat on the couch doing our duties, and i began to feel somewhat jealous. i couldn't feed her. i am so used to being the one that is giving her what she needs, bonding with her, even in the wee hours of the morning. i almost just stopped pumping and took her because it just felt weird to not hold her. i thought about mothers who have to go back to work and are unable to watch their children grow and change. i grieve for them, but am so thankful that jared and i have committed to raising chloe with great care and hopefully, stability.

as jared fed her, i think he began to understand why bottles are not the optimal form of feeding. she gets all gassy, which she almost never does when she's breast fed. she was spitting up, and making weird sounds, and doing the little "eh-eh" gas cry. i guess she had a monster burp. breast is best.

and after all that, she starts squealing. time to attend to the precious babe.



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