chloe: the bigness of big



happy to report that last night was much, much better. we really didn't even have to let her cry because she woke up only twice. once at 11:30, at which time she cried for about 10 minutes before going back to sleep, and then once around 3:30, at which time i fed her. then, nothing until 8!

when jared got home from work at 12:30am, there was a return note on our door from our upstairs neighbor, gary. if i get a chance i'll scan it and post it, but basically, it was the sweetest note we could have received. gary is a middle aged gay man, a teacher and he just happens to have a little dog named chloe! he applauded us for trying to teach chloe at a young age and said that he had issues with neighbors when chloe had puppies. the empathy was much needed.

i would love to say that 10 minutes of crying last night would be the end of sleeplessness, but i know that would be foolish. we've said our prayers, though, and maybe God will just work a miracle?

thanks for all your thoughts and prayers this way.



:a little baseball & maybe a little quiet?:

just an update about the ongoing saga that is chloe's elusive sleeping habits. after a couple weeks of going back and forth about whether or not to let her cry, and whether or not to talk to our neighbors about it, we finally decided to do both those things. jared attempted to talk to them, but no one home. we wrote a letter, put it on our 2 neighbors' doors that would be most affected, and are praying. we haven't heard anything from those neighbors yet, so here's hoping...


:a swing and a prayer:

this whole child thing is so much bigger than us. all you parents know that. we don't have to tell you. but for
us, being first timers, we are daily reminded of this amazing, humbling and tiring task of raising a child.

sleep continues to be elusive. last night would be considered "good", even though i was crying at one point. but, i actually got a 3 hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep. i count that on the positive side. i wish we could at least get a pattern going. mainly though, i've found that chloe simply wants me. i asked jared to get up and try to console her, and she screamed. i came in, took her and she was totally quiet. this doesn't help my situation. but, we will push on and persevere.

my family was in town this weekend and we had a chance to get to mission bay for a quick lunch. chloe had her first ride in the swing. i was bummed that jared couldn't be there, and felt bad because i told him not to put her in the swing a couple weeks ago. oops. but i did get these shots to commemorate this wonderful moment. looks like she'll have a stronger stomach like mom ;)

these other shots were just from a little nap chloe decided to take on the couch. this is very rare, but usually welcomed...

:the continuing saga:

more prayers needed. i'm gettin sick, most likely due to the exhaustion of running and then having to sleep on the floor in chloe's room and sheer lack of sleep. we're both just...i don't know. the kid is fine. she's not ill. she's not hungry. she's not in pain. just awake. there's not a whole lot we can do about that.


:better, sort of:

well, thanks for the prayers. chloe has been worlds better the past couple nights. still waking up once or twice, but completely different than the hell that was saturday night.

i have to credit my mom, who i desparately called at 6am sunday morning to lament over my lack of sleep. she seemed to think that chloe may be incredibly hungry. i never really thought of that. i felt like i had been feeding her enough, but after running 10 miles saturday, i started to think that my milk may be affected. so, chloe has been eating a lot more solid food, with breasfeeding mixed in. this has been a good thing all around. i have more freedom to do things out of the house while others feed her, and she seems to be better. whether or not that was the cause of saturday's meltdown, we'll never know. but chloe clearly wants to eat...and eat, and eat.

we need continued prayers for chloe, for our family, for decisions to make and such.


:new digs:

yes, last night was basically hell. today has been only slightly better, thanks to this new addition:

we went to pick up her carseat today and jared became infatuated by this jumper. he asked to try it. chloe loved it. we saw it as the answer to our woes. she could get exercise while also jumping out all her energy, thus being ready and willing for bed. that was the theory. the reality, so far, is more like this: she enjoys the jumper for about 1/2 hour, then gets bored, or needy and just starts the scream fest again. putting her to bed...awful. what happened to our trained little baby that went to sleep with ease?

anyhow, here we sit dreading the moment where we have to put her in the crib. i'm literally scared and anxious. it nearly sends pain up my body. after about 2 hours of sleep, with about an hour nap this morning, and a 10 mile run saturday, i think i'm about done. we need prayers this way. and prayers that our neighbors won't come after us with torches and pitchforks.

more pictures....

this is the worst night we have had with chloe. please pray for us.


:1/2 year:

there are those milestones in life where you look back and just kind of sit in awe of where you are and where you've been.

and then there's your baby's 6 month mark. we are so utterly thrilled with our chloe, even if she is a little poop at night.

her 6 month measurements: 19 lb, 4 oz.; 26"

she's huge. she's gained 3 pounds in 2 months.

here she is...



hey all....

since i know so many of you read this, i just wanted to send out a friendly reminder about my marathon fundraising.

to those that have already contributed, a BIG thank you is in order. thanks to your generosity, i am approaching the halfway point of my $1700 goal! that's pretty amazing.

but i need to continue raising the funds until May 11 to support the team's purpose of helping others, while also securing my spot on race day.

please help me out in supporting this cause. you may do this in one of 2 ways.

1) go to my donation site, Kelly's TNT site, and donate by credit card directly. It's the quickest and easiest method of donating.

2) give me your address and i will send out a donation letter and form for you to fill out and return to me by May 1, 2007.

remember, this IS a tax deduction.

if you are unable to donate, please keep me in your prayers as i continue to train. things have been going well thus far-no injuries or problems. this saturday marks the beginning of double digit mileage: 10 miles. yikes. i need all the support i can get.

once again, thank you for your interest and participation in my personal goal and our team goal of helping others.

as we say every week, GO TEAM!


:a bit of a sabbath:

as i write, jared is about to go crazy as our lovely daughter throws her sippy cup off the highchair. we officially have a child.

today, after jared had some cavities filled, we took a quick trip over to balboa park to enjoy the sunshine, warm weather and a day off. what a lovely time. i took lots of photos and remembered why i used to be a photographer. i guess i still am, but spending a day like this out, i begin to feel a bit guilty for not using this gift more. i really need to.

anyway, we went in the giant arboretum, fed chloe bananas on the lawn, listened to a violinist and his friend play accordian and took advantage of the free museum entry on tuesdays. today was the photography museum, oddly enough. some good stuff. one woman in particular had a few beautiful photos of feet and legs in various public places. that's not a good description, but it was good stuff. chloe was good just long enough to peruse the gallery in the stroller. her first museum visit.

so, back to the sippy cup, which she has basically figured out how to use. it's actually a sucky sippy cup. it just has some water, which is supposed to be good for them when they start eating solids. it's keeping her occupied for now.

here's a lot of photos. the bottom ones are my personal shots that i thought i'd share.

peace. xo.


:a few:

here are a few photos from chloe's past week.

we have chloe with her highly coveted plastic whisk; chloe with jared's friend melcher; and chloe enjoying a delicious meal of plastic book. enjoy.


:chloe & the beach:

today was a benchmark day. we had a beach day with chloe for the first time. sadly, i forgot to bring a camera so i don't have many photos. i was fortunate to get a few on a friend's camera and hope to get those later this week. but until then, stories will have to suffice.

we went to la jolla shores to see baptisms for our church, and oddly enough, our friend mike was going to be there, too. so after baptisms, we hung out for a bit and soaked up sun while chloe discovered sand. i am a summertime beach girl. so when it was 80 and sunny today, it felt great to be by the water. but it was so so different with a kid. there was something very monumental and emotional about it. while the baptisms were happening, jared walked down to the water with chloe (who dawned a little swimsuit and mariner's hat) and let her toes grace the salt water for the first time. watching my beloved play in the ocean with my daughter brought tears to my eyes. it was something out of a movie. chloe is by far the cutest baby, ever. obviously i am partial...but seriously. you had to see her. she actually seemed to be curious about this mysterious ocean, but after a bit, i think she got a little tired of dad setting her feet down in icy water. but there is never a shortage of fun for kids at the beach. we were there for hours and she never cried. she played with keys, sand, her toys and eventually fell asleep in her carseat. needless to say, she didn't get her normal naps since we had been gone since 8am.

maybe seeing chloe was like going back to childhood. maybe that's why it was so emotional. i guess the bonds you make with nature as a child never really go away, and eventually become realized in your children. i can only hope that jared gets to see little chloe play in the snow, which is his love.

other than beach days, chloe has learned to navigate around her room completely. she sees something she wants (could be her crib, her swing, the doorstop, the blanket, a book, etc.) and manages to roll and drag herself to it. she's become quite adept at it, too. no more leaving her in the room. there's been a couple close calls with her and walls. she's tough though. she's clearly taking after me and my long line of bad ass women. i guess that's got both good and bad. either way, she's a fiery little booger...and we love her that way.


:waves of grace:

watching chloe today, i realized how lovely life is.

we were laying on the floor of her bedroom, snuggling and giggling while looking in the mirror while the sun warmed our backs and the gentle afternoon breeze stroked the hairs on my arms. in that moment, everything was perfect. and chloe was smiling, too.

as for the rest of the day, she was marginal. she has been sleeping better the past few nights, but she continues to have her bouts with shrieks. i guess all we can do is accept it and live each day.

lots of photos to catch up on from the past week. notice her insatiable desire to chew. i don't know what to think.