chloe: the bigness of big


:to medicate or not to medicate:

i feel very torn right now.

i just returned from taking chloe to the doctor due to the fact that she's been tugging her ears and waking up at night. i started to have concern that an ear infection may be brewing. her eczema has also been flaring up a lot.

the good news is that her ears are completely fine.

but all day, as i waited to go to the doctor, i began to feel a gnawing ache that something wasn't right. i started to figure out that she didn't have an ear infection. she just didn't have the symptoms.

what i do know is that she has eczema and that an MD would immediately prescribe a steroidal cream. and there's the dilemma...i won't give chloe something of that nature.

well, i was exactly right, down to what he would prescribe and what he thought her ear tugging was about.
he explained that she had atopic dermatitis, which i already knew.
as he spoke, i realized that the trip was basically useless, except for giving me piece of mind about her ears.
while he was explaining what this was, i was thinking about how little people know and how little they research. the average parent would just walk in and assume that he knew the cure and not think about other options. this has been a point of frustration for me for a very long time, especially when it comes to all things children.

i feel confused. from an ethical and health standpoint, i feel it's wrong to give my 3 month old daughter a steroid. i am a firm believer that our bodies react to things and are trying to tell us that something isn't right inside, which is exactly what her body is doing. giving her a potent medication may temporarily stop itching or make the rash disappear, but it won't change her internal structure, and may have other side effects. she may have an allergy or something else that needs to be explored. but people don't explore that. even worse, many doctors don't explore this.

because this is chloe's blog, i don't want to rant too much. but, this is a subject important to chloe's life and our experiences as parents, so i feel that i should be able to share some of it. if you really want to read more of my digressions and frustrations, visit

when thinking about raising a child, there are always the obvious concerns. but until you're there, you don't realize how many little decisions, with big impact, have to be made. making a decision for another human being, especially one's child, is so detrimental. we are shaping them and responsible for everything.

so, i return to the place i started. chloe has eczema and itches it occasionally and seems to have found her ears. she won't be getting any hydrocortisone. but her mom will be getting more educated and cutting out ALL dairy in an effort to see if an allergy could be the culprit.

on lighter notes, some remnants of fun with iPhoto from Christmas...


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